Alien Centipede

Trotting orb of strange charisma. Will you be our friend, o thou of ungainly stride and piquant metallic shell? Would that we could hold your spherical form in our arms, and admire your shiny stilts. Save us, Evil Snowman, take us away to pastures new and round.

Birthed through Colonel Bahamut's biotechnological experiments with the Alien Cell, these multilegged monstrosities just love crawling around. Though they may seem aggressive, Alien Centipedes are simply obsessed with scurrying, unaware of the effects their spiky, toxic bodies have on impacted bystanders. Were they not currently being deployed as weapons of traitorous warfare these beasts would make challenging but rewarding pets, or at least an excellent source of protein.

By combining the fearsome firepower of the High Speed Tank Booby with the bipedal versatility of the Buried Surfacing Cannon Gulcan, Red Falcon's traitor engineers have created a war machine that is somehow less than the sum of its parts in every conceivable way. Prone to tumbling over due to its top-heavy design and unable to pivot its main turret up or down, the pilots of these botched battle vehicles rely on clumsily stomping their enemies underfoot as the most reliable means of victory. Every member of Red Falcon does, however, remark on how cool they look and how badass it feels to drive one of these horrendous Frankenstein's hot-rods.