Crocifiggitone

How wet do you have to get in order to be considered a wet version of something that was already wet? About as wet as the Wet Njuggles, an aqueous equine that took the phrase “stay hydrated” to its soggy extreme. Despite their mastery of moisture, the cruel irony is that the leading cause of death among them is drowning. They’d rather a watery grave than to live high and dry, for they understand that wetter is better.

An ogre that’s always harping on about how hot it is. Can’t say it’s lying though, given its status as one of the sexiest beasts around. Scholars well versed in the biology of aberrant creatures have spent years studying this desirable behemoth to understand exactly why it’s so lusted after, but such forbidden knowledge has clearly driven them off the edge of sanity. Their fevered writings are little more than insensible mantras full of references to an eldritch god named Dummy Thicc.

Each one swears they’re definitely a real dwarf and not a human who’s done that thing where you strap your shoes to your knees and pretend you’re a lot shorter than you are. Prone to loudly professing that they’re not disguised as dwarves to access their healthcare, which is generally considered 50% more advanced and 100% less profit motivated.