Uniconiglio

A weapon to surpass the Boss Blind, it’s the BIG Boss Blind! She is no joke, which is a really great joke if you get the joke. Take heart when the chips are down, and poke her face with whatever you’ve got to hand. Survive this showdown or we’ll all be as extinct as the gros michel!

These long-lived cuties used to be so rare that only one captive example was recorded in a thousand years. The ancient world beheld it with awe and greeted it with “awww!” Fearing its extinction, our ancestors yearned to hear the creature’s incredible mating call, produced by contracting a methane sac within its majestic horn. That was then. This is now, a few years after the second Uniconiglio was caught. Now they outnumber us five to one. Now their methane wilts our crops. Now their horny song plays eternal and it sounds like cats on fire. Now extinction seems like a good idea and we no longer care if it’s us or them.

Not even bestiary writers are spared the cruelty of Clan Bloodmoon. They know we’re all going to say this thing paid an arm and a leg for immortality, and they know full well we’ll hate ourselves for it. These hack writers’ nightmares are personally created by Calogero Bloodmoon, and by that I mean he pulls the limbs off zombies for fun.